Apostrofee

apostrofee \ə-ˈpäs-trə-fi\
noun.

A penalty that must be paid for the misu'se of the holy punctuation mark. Depending on the company one keep's, this may vary from a kick in the genitalia, to permanent banishment from any possible written social interaction in the future.

Note: There isn't really a law about this as of now, but the lobbyists are getting stronger.
Subliminal Message: Join us.

Blogsphemy

blogsphemy \blŏgs-fə-mē\
noun.

An insult to the Gods of the blogosphere.

Things that may construe a blogsphemy include (but are not limited to):
1. Talking about one's own blog in a blog post
2. Reading a blog that talks about itself in a blog post
3. Trying to squeeze that one last bit of humour out of self-reference
4. Inserting a Google AdSense box on one's blog, hoping that someone will click the ads and in the process earn one an extra 20 cents.

Schlumdog

schlumdog /ʃlʌm-dog/
noun. off.
Someone who gets placed before anyone else does, owing to his 9-point CPI.

Word and definition credit: Mukul. Brickbats meant for him shall be promptly returned to you. Praise meant for him - um, nobody ever praises anything here, anyway.

Cashhole

cashhole \ˈkæʃ-hōl\
noun.

1. The person who can always be depended on to pay for you when you go dutch.
2. That dumb teller at the bank counter.

Astroknot

astroknot \ˈas-trə-ˌnȯt\
noun.

1. a match made in heaven
2. a marriage, which, if not fueled enough, may come crashing down


NOTE:
The two almost contradictory meanings have been known to have caused more than one rifts. The fact that the word also has a homophone, hasn't helped. Humorous situations are left as an exercise for the reader

Menapplause

menapplause \ˈme-nə-ˈplȯz\
noun.
a sexual joke or innuendo that gets big laughs from guys and scorns from girls.